'Drowsiness, dizziness, lightheadedness, stomach upset, dry mouth, constipation, increased appetite, weight gain, difficulty swallowing, shaking, infection, slow heartbeat, fainting, confusion, restlessness, tingling of arms/legs, yellowing eyes/skin, tardive dyskinesia, unusual/uncontrolled movements, unwanted breast milk, missed/stopped periods, decreased sexual ability, inability to produce sperm, enlarged breasts, seizures, neuroleptic malignant syndrome, fever, muscle pain, severe tiredness, severe confusion, sweating, fast/irregular heartbeat and pink urine.'
Greetings! Just a short list of some of the common and not so common stuff that could go wrong if you take drugs. No, I don't mean crank, shrooms, blow, coke, leapers or wacky tobaccy. The little guy whose side effects are referenced above goes by the street name Zyprexa. It is a medication, an anti psychotic and one of the first psychiatric medications I ever shoveled into my front hole.
I was in a private mental institution when Zyprexa and I got together. Increased appetite? Check. Three hot meals a day? Check. Weight gain? Yeah sure you betcha. How about 10kg's in two weeks. Dry mouth, well, that was horrible. Constipation, that happened too. Thank god for laxatives. Yep drugs to combat the side effects of drugs. Wonderful. I only ever drank half a cup of tea at a time. The other half well, it fell victim to my shaky hands and moistened the dining room floor.
That was not the only thing I did to that floor. I was a relatively new patient of the mad house. Dinner had just been served and the dining room was filling up with other patients. For the first time since arriving in this strange new place, my parents had decided to join me for dinner. I got my food and strode across the dining room, the cutlery on my tray clinking from the shake of my hands. As I went to sit down, without even a 'heads up bro', my bladder decided to empty itself all over that lovely clean floor. Cool, spontaneous urination. That's new. I guess that's okay. As long as it's not pink.
In fairness neither I, nor the floor can blame my buddy Zyprexa for the burst bladder, there were other factors at play. Mania for one, anxiety maybe and too much valium combined with a fair few half cups of tea. What I can blame the Zyprexa for, is what happened after I left the mad house.
Drowsiness. Drowsiness was my companion for the entire 6 months I was on Zyprexa. A friend of mine has a saying, 'You got time to stand, you've got time to sit. You got time to sit, you've got time to sleep'. Sleep I did. Being in high school at the time, the humble school desk was my pillow. The school bell would ring, I would get up, walk to the next classroom and then go back to sleep on a different desk. You would think my teachers would try and do something about it. I think they were just happy I showed up at all.
After 6 months poorly spent with my anti-psychotic friend Zyprexa and my anti-depressant chum Avanza, I had another manic episode. Apparently anti-depressants don't work so well with Bipolar. They keep pushing you further and further right of the center. All of a sudden your mum's the queen of England, your dog's her butler and you are their body guard. I dubbed that episode the '55555' mania, if you missed it, you can find it referred to here.
So, back to hospital it is then. Once there, they introduced me to some new constant companions. One was Lithium. It supposedly keeps you stable but no one knows why. The shakes persisted. I am still on Lithium to this day and I still shake. It gets worse when I'm stressed, tired and run down but it is manageable. Lithium also messes with your liver, kidneys and thyroid. It is a toxic salt after all. It requires blood tests every now and then just to make sure I'm not going to kick that old breathing habit of mine.
As to my new anti-psychotic. Drowsiness. Lots and lots and lots and lots of drowsiness. It was no where near as severe as the Zyprexa but it was still not good. As far as I was concerned, the impact on my quality of life was not worth the benefits of the drug. I wanted out. I told my doctor as much and he let me bid farewell to Seroquel. It was a good decision. The next few years however, did not quite go according to plan.
For the next two years I was plagued with depressive episodes. Without a friend like Seroquel propping me up, I kept falling down. Down and down I fell, over and over again. Some pretty tragic shit happened in my life at that time too. I will always wonder how much of it was the curve balls I got thrown and how much of it was not having a comprehensive drug safety net. I will never know.
My GP sent me to see a psychiatrist. I didn't like the idea. I don't like shrinks. The shrink explained to me that Lithium is a mood stabilizer, a very good one, which is most useful at controlling the highs. I had nothing in place for the lows. He wanted me to take something else. I didn't like the idea. I don't like side effects. He made me think it was my choice, gave me some information and told me I had two weeks to decide.
The list of side effects for Lamictal were just as scary as the ones for Zyprexa. Most notably a deadly rash dubbed Steve and Johnson's Syndrome. Since I never really had a choice, after two weeks I was popping the first dose. It tasted horrible and was coupled with a bad habit of getting stuck on the roof of your mouth. I didn't like that bit. I can't definitively say there were no side effects, certainly no really noticeable ones. I still take Lamictal. It still has an icky taste and I am now fairly certain that it keeps me awake for a while after I take it. Otherwise, it is pretty good to me.
My depressive episodes significantly reduced with my new safety net in place. Again, things in my life started changing at that time too. I got a job. A job that I love doing. Still kind of do. I was all of a sudden on a new drug and gainfully employed. I had a regular sleeping pattern. I was getting up and doing something I enjoyed every day. I will never know how much the Lamictal is responsible for the decrease in depressive episodes and how much of it is lifestyle. Again, I will never know. I am fairly certain it is both.
I still go up, down, right and left. It is just the way it is. That is my lot. With medication and good management, it is far less severe now than it ever was. Medication to me is a necessary evil. I don't like having to take it but swallowing a few pills, shaking a bit and not being able to get to sleep that well I feel is a pretty good trade off. I fear without my two chums Lithium and Lamictal chaos would ensue. They aren't bad little fellas really. I can even drink a full cup of tea these days and my urine is yet to turn pink.
If you don't believe me about the side effects for these things, or you are just curious go here. The TGA have a lot of quality information on all sorts of drugs, for all sorts of things.
Until the next time,
Stay Awesome!
